Minnie Lou 

The Hall of Justice vestibule in front of your pedestal
Mr. Ashcroft did commence with his weekly press conference
The Attorney General boiled cause his photo ops were spoiled
By sight of statues’ lewd alabaster pulchritude  

(chorus)

Oh, Oh, Minnie Lou
There was nothing we could do
Cops won’t let you drive about
With one of your headlights out 

Now Grecian statues tend to be known for taking liberties
When it comes to togs and frocks and yet the General was shocked
 “Fix that statue” Ashcroft cried,” It makes me look undignified
Some decorum is a must… By George, it’s dignity or bust” 

(chorus)

He said “Our eyes should not absorb this statue’s pert alfresco orb
A little modesty is best. Please someone cover up the breast!"
And so they got somebody sharp, eight thousand dollars and a tarp
That someone found in the garage to obfuscate the décolletage

(chorus) 

Now photos show no marble globe perched there behind ol’ John’s ear lobe
The message couldn’t be more clear… No milk of human kindness here
But art is ours for treasuring so if it makes blood pressure sing
Cut back some on the sodium move the freakin’ podium 

(chorus)  

Updated verse

That was a long time ago These days Michelangelo
Is the object of their funk
All because of David’s junk
A principal got herself canned
For helping students understand
That masterpieces dont wear pants
Just to please DeSantis fans

© 2002, 2023 Flying Stone Music

© 2002 Flying Stone Music