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This is a song I'm working on for the leaders of the Democratic Party - sung to the tune of "If I Only Had a Brain":
If I Only Had a SpineOh, my base would not desert me
if I didn’t say 'Don’t hurt me'
To right wing friends of mine
I’d stand up for evolution
and defend the constitution
If I only had a spineYes I’d be out there defendin’
The first and fourth amendment
and do much more than whine
while the glaciers are melting
And Rumsfeld is Rumsfelting
If I only had a spine
Oh, I would never sigh
I'd stand right up and quote
Each word the founding fathers ever wrote
And every speech
Would cry Impeach!There would be no way in hell I
would wave off Causus Beli
A reason or a rhyme
To invade other nations
We would need provocations
If I only had a spine….Oh, I’d stop my what’s the usin'
And get busy reducin'
A deficit that climbs
At the White House each minute
The Decider is in it
If I only had a spineOh, I would never sigh
I'd stand right up and quote
Each word the founding fathers ever wrote
And every speech
Would cry Impeach!
Oh, I’d hand me a subpoeney
To Rove and ol’ Dick Cheyney
For Plamegate was a crime
And we'd try Scooter Libby
For much more than telling fibbies
If I only had a spineOh, I wouldn’t be a coward
in Ohio or Broward
When they stole votes of mine
I’d make Bush get Osama
and I’d nominate Obama
If I only had a spine….