Sweat Angels                   by John Flynn

Flat on your back helplessly flailing your arms
Nausea and vertigo did not raise alarms
Roll up your yoga matt and crawl cross the floor
Make it a few feet and then lie down once more

The thermostat’s set to one hundred and five
You barely made it through the workout alive
Your antiperspirant struggled so valiantly 
But all your classmates roll their eyes as they see 

Chorus:
Sweat angels on a bamboo floor
Your lying  in a soggy heap by the door
While a non-judging teacher mops up all your
Sweat angels –big shiny angels-
Sweat angels on a bamboo floor 

You went from DVDs to membership card
Where lights are soft and all the bodies are hard
You learned the poses and you swear that your gonna
Stick with it though it’s a pain in the asana

Six months ago you were a bump on a log
Now yoga babes all check out your downward dog
Until those waterworks start doing their thing
Yoginis aren’t impressed by large glistening

Sweat angels on a bamboo floor
Your  chakras in a soggy heap by the door
You cling to consciousness while they mop up your
Sweat angels –big shiny angels-
Sweat angels on a bamboo floor

Your desperate mantra seems so breathless and odd
When you chant “Om” you follow it with “My God!” 
Ommmmmmygod!  Ommmmmmygod!

Turned fifty last year and you know how that goes
It had been eons since you'd last touched your toes
In desperation you gave yoga a fling
Besides you thought just look what it’s done for Sting
(ad lib in falsetto voice: "Roxanne, you don't have to...")

You’re great at child’s pose and rabbit and mountain
But that warrior sequence turns you on like a fountain
So check your dharma… see what kind of shape it’s in
And don’t get discouraged just because you’ve been spritzin’… 

Sweat angels on a bamboo floor
Moist cherubim and seraphim that implore
Don’t "Hatha" give up just because your pulse soars
With those...
Sweat angels –big shiny angels
Sweat angels on a bamboo floor

© Flying Stone Music